ABOUT ME
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Wayfinder Life Coach certified by Martha Beck, PhD, world-renowned coach, NY Times bestselling author, and Harvard-trained sociologist known as “Oprah Winfrey’s life coach.”
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Associate Certified Coach (ACC™) with the International Coaching Federation (ICF). This certification from the leading global organization for coaches and coaching is seen as 'The Gold Standard of Professional Coaching.'
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Coaching for Self Leadership: An Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, specific application of the IFS model created by family therapist, academic, and author, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz and taught by PCC certified life coaches Brian Jaudon and Gutherie Saye.
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Internal Family Systems Therapy - Open Circle Training: A 6-month training in the Internal Family Systems model. IFS is exploding out of its therapy roots and being utilized in many settings. Taught by creator Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, Clinical Specialist Psychotherapist Toni Herbine-Blank, and IFS expert and author, Pamela Krause.
Welcome! I'm Janet
When I Grow Up … for as many years as I can remember I have uttered this phrase as I changed my plan – again.
When I changed my major 3 times and my college twice.
When I changed my job, again. And again. And again. (37 in total!)
When I pulled myself up from the depths of grief & depression.
When I healed from a life-threatening illness.
When I got married.
When I started my business.
As you can tell, I’ve been through my share of big life transitions – I’ve even thrown in a few milestone birthdays for good measure.
On the surface, the changes look vastly different, but underneath was a cycle of repeating patterns: procrastination, people-pleasing, control issues, perfectionism, and caretaking that led to anxiety and stress.
I got really good at drowning out all my inner voices. I kept myself super-busy or distracted. I pushed down my feelings like a beach ball under the water. Occasionally the ball would slip out and burst through the surface leaving chaos in its wake.
In my quest to feel and be better I worked my way through many modalities of healing and spiritual growth: meditation, affirmations, energy healing, tapping, astrology, numerology, oracle cards, teaching from the leaders in their fields, and So. Many. Books.... each one helping for a while – always looking for answers, the right answer. Until the day I came across the Rumi quote that stopped me in my tracks with its truth:
“I was a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and stars. I started listening to the teachings of my soul.”
Shortly after I was introduced to the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and FINALLY found what I’d been missing.
We all have many parts. Some are easy to name – they’re the roles we play: spouse, parent, sibling, friend, co-worker.
But what about the ones that we hear as inner voices? The ones that beat us up, shame us, and sound suspiciously like the schoolyard bully, our high school chemistry teacher, or even our mother? Or the ones that push us to eat healthy, sign up for that Couch to 5K, or help our brother move?
Our parts all the want the best for us, to keep us safe and protect us from pain.
Some have healthier methods than others, they have good coping skills, they keep our lives running. Others turn to the extra glass or 3 of wine, the pint of ice cream, marathon gaming sessions – anything to numb the uncomfortable sensations.
We’ve been conditioned to think of multiplicity as a mental disorder, on the path to waking one day as Sybil, or suffering a psychotic break.
As such, our parts tend to get lumped together as one entity: the inner critic, the ego, the social self.
But have you ever found yourself thinking something like “on the one hand, I really want to go the party, I haven’t seen Joe in ages … but on the other hand I really just want to stay home in my pajamas … well, on the third hand, I could go for just an hour and then come home early …wait, I need more hands…”
You realize it’s actually completely normal. No one taught you to think in parts - they’re just there.
So, who to listen to? Who to trust?
Well, it’s a learning process for sure. Getting to know your parts, gain their trust and befriend them is an ongoing process/unfolding. Ultimately, they need to trust you – the you that is Self with a capital S.
It’s our spiritual core, the seat of our collective consciousness, it is calm, connected, curious, compassionate, clear, courageous, confident, and creative. It loves unconditionally.
When we learn to become Self-led, the change we seek happens more effortlessly.
I use IFS in my coaching as a way to shift old, stuck patterns in your life and career, transform that vocal inner mean girl into your biggest cheerleader, and find a sustainable source of calm, compassion and joy.
Now, for me, When I Grow Up means rather than just WHAT do you want to be, but also WHO do I want to be? And HOW do I want to be in the world?
For me that’s kind, curious, humorous, brave, compassionate, a healer, a guide, playful, unfettered, free of the weight of expectations. It’s puzzles and pickleball and mid-day dance parties. It’s unleashing a sense of possibility and child-like wonder.